You are a what???

I cannot tell you how many times I introduce myself as a doula only to be met by confused looks or blank stares. Then come the follow up questions:

"So, you are a midwife?" -Nope.

"You attend homebirths?" -Yes, but it doesn't stop there.

"Isn't that a body part?" - The word you are looking for is "Medulla Oblongata" and that is part of your brain. So, yes, but no.

So what is a doula? Technically speaking the word originated from the Greek language and means a "woman who serves" (DONA.org). Now that term has come to embody so many different roles and responsibilities. There are even different types of doulas: labor doula, postpartum doula, bereavement doula, etc. No matter what the title or the task, the role of each of us is the same. We are there beside you to uplift and support you, to hold your hand when you need to cry, to listen when you need to talk, to hug you when you feel alone, and to laugh and rejoice with you when you are so overwhelmed with joy that you cannot contain it.

We support your medical team. A doula is not on site to deliver your baby nor complete any other clinical tasks. As your doctor or midwife care for you clinically, doulas stay by your side to assist you as you make informed decisions regarding your care. Very often care providers are responsible for multiple patients (either during delivery, or during office hours). Your doula stays with you every minute. She is prepared to guide you through the labor process and assist you with comfort and progression at each stage. Very often care providers appreciate the presence of doulas because we are able to come alongside them and care for your comfort and peace of mind (areas which they are often unable to fully address due to their patient load)..

We support your partner. I believe that many partners desire to be involved in the support of the laboring mother, but are unsure about how to best execute that support. They do not want to be in the way, nor do they want to add to the discomfort of their loved one. As a doula I am constantly looking for ways to use your partner as much as they would like to be used. There are some partners who are simply uncomfortable with the birthing process. That is fine. But for those who want to hold a hand, encourage with words of affirmation, offer a cup of water or a cool cloth, etc., I am going to do all I can to facilitate your engagement. I am not there to come between the parents of this new baby. I am there to do my best to make this your best birth experience. One that ends with a slightly larger, much closer family unit that experienced one of the most life-changing blessings on earth.

We work in all kinds of settings. I attend many different kinds of births. It is very important that the birthing mother is in her most comfortable environment, and in control of her birth preferences. If you take the most natural minded mother and put her in an operating room in a hospital, her anxiety is going to go through the roof. Likewise, if you take a more clinically minded mother and give her an unplanned homebirth, her anxiety is going to be off the charts. My role is to come alongside the mother, in whatever is her ideal birth scenario, and assist her in staying as close to her preferences as medically possible. So if you want a homebirth, great! If you want a planned C-section, great! Your birth is your birth and I will support you through it.

Since I started working professionally as a doula I have learned the true blessing of this profession. While I hope to be a blessing to the families that I serve, I often find myself with a blessed and contented grin as I drive home from an early morning birth. I love seeing a mother reach the point where she cannot do anymore, only to push through and accomplish things she never thought possible. I love watching through tears of joy as the precious baby is lifted to its mother's anxious and loving arms. I love shaking hands with the new dad as he glories over the miracle his wife just completed. So if you aren't sure about what I do, feel free to ask me all the questions you have. I love being a doula!